


Fire. Now.

by sashawrites



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Nightmares, Post-Season/Series 02, Trauma, hinted Kara Danver/Lena Luthor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashawrites/pseuds/sashawrites
Summary: "Her and I promised each other a lifetime of firsts and now I'm on the verge of destroying the possibility of any kind of future with her, of destroying her. I can't. President Marsdin is telling me how it's not my choice, how it's my duty to fire. Now. And I don't know, if it's Kara's hand or mine, leveling down, closer to the button, close enough to touch it."orOne half of Sanvers is on the Daxamite ship, instead of Supergirl.





	Fire. Now.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in one session, in the middle of the night, no beta, first fic ever. I'm open for constructive criticism and will correct errors, once pointed out to me. Enjoy reading. I appreciate every hit, every comment and any kudos, you might or might not want to drop here. I'm aware of how short this is. I usually write chapters upon chapters and never dare to finish my work in progress, so this feels like a step forward. See for yourself.

I take a look around. I'm a little disoriented, I guess, but the very next second, I know exactly where I am and why I'm here. On the control panel, various lights are signaling the process. I know, out there, ships are hovering over National City. Daxamite soldiers are terrorizing innocent civilians, just for being free citizens of the planet the invaders claim.

My earpiece crackles and I hear J'onn, then the President. J'onn sounds pained. He knows what I feel. Not because he's psychic, but because he has lost a planet, just like the Daxamites, just like Kara, lone survivors of worlds altered beyond recognition or destroyed altogether.

J'onn knows and he feels my pain, mixed with his own, but he also knows what I have to do, what he would have to do, were he in my place. Kara looks at me and I see the terrified child, she once was, in her eyes. She has cried a few tears of relief upon hearing that Lena Luthor had escaped Rhea's ship safely, along with her mother and Henshaw.

Kara is probably the purest soul I know and I wish she could rush back to the Fortress of Solitude now, to bring them back home. I have offered the way out. She shouldn't be in this position, in this dilemma. The positron cannon is powered, aimed at the ship and ready to fire, the President is urging and from outside, I can hear the hint of the chaos on the streets.

I can hear it, so Kara can hear all of it. The rebellion inspired by Cat Grant's call to action, parents dying trying to protect their children, civilians begging for mercy and others standing up against the invaders. Kara can hear it all. It's tearing something inside of her apart, but she won't leave. She's dressed in her famous Supergirl suit, but around just me, she doesn't have to play the tough hero.

She's here, unmistakably Kara Danvers, and with me, unwilling to leave my side. Maybe she is more of a soldier, than we give her credit for. She could be with Lena now, but she's with me and I catch myself thanking a god, I had sworn myself not to believe in, for her. For letting her arrive on Earth and grow up to be the incredible person she is.

She looks at me with the ghost of Krypton in her mind's eye and I'm not even sure if it's my hand or hers hovering over the big red button on the control panel. If pushed now, this button will end the Daxamite invasion, but also kill everyone still on that ship, evaporate them.

Something in my chest is screaming in agony and frustration, because it's not just Mon El up there. In order to abandon him up there, Lillian had closed the portal on not only him, but also the woman I love like I never thought I could love. We promised each other a lifetime of firsts and now I'm on the verge of destroying the possibility of any kind of future with her, of destroying her.

I can't. President Marsdin is telling me how it's not my choice, how it's my duty to fire. Now. And I don't know, if it's Kara's hand or mine, leveling down, closer to the button, close enough to touch it. Supergirl holds my gaze and we share this agony, tonight. It's one human life or potentially planet Earth. We know what we have to do. The hand is on the button, ready to let gravity do the rest.

Just stop holding back and this will all be over. Queen Rhea and her only son will cease to exist and the Daxamites will scatter all around the universe, again. Just pushing this button, just letting that hand be pushed down on it, that's all it takes. That's what I have to do. Sacrifice my love to prevent further casualties, more wounded and the possible enslavement of mankind. Kara is here with me, not up there with Mon El.

#

“It's okay. Shh, it's okay, wake up. You're safe.”, the voice I've been dying to hear tears through the fabric of my nightmare, through to me, and it allows me to leave the horror, to join her in reality, in our bed. As I open my eyes, she's there. She's not on a Daxamite ship and I'm not at the DEO. The invasion is over and we are home. Kara was on that ship, not her and the Kryptonian made it home and made the Daxamites leave Earth forever.

I'm not in charge of a positron cannon. I'm home with my girl, Kara's spare cape between us to remind us she's safe, too, because we've both needed that a lot, these past few weeks after the invasion.

“I dreamed it was you on the ship and me in charge of destroying it.”, I tell her and just her being there makes it better. She's close and she's alive and well, and we've both had this type of nightmare every night, ever since. Kara has them, too and who knows who else got away with scars on their souls. People will never forget this. Like it's engraved in the core of the planet now. The city itself looks like a wounded soldier. Its inhabitants are patching it up, getting help from outside the city, rebuilding it, repairing what can be saved. Life goes on, it has to and it's over!

My breathing slowly returns to normal and my love snuggles close and I stare up at the ceiling. _It's over_ , I remind myself, again. The people I love are okay. Just maybe, things are going to be alright. They have to be. We're alive and we'll continue on. It's what we do. It's part of that future we are blessed with. Some didn't get that lucky. For them, we have to make the best of it. Protect the planet they died defending, make it the best place possible. They gave their lives for this cause, for all of us.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one last night, like on the spot. First thing I’ve really finished, ever. Kinda proud of myself? A little bit?
> 
> So, on to what I was going to say: the POV is intentionally ambiguous. It works for both Alex and Maggie, I think. Correct me, please, if I’m wrong. I feel like the trauma of all the sh*t going down in National City won’t be addressed, on the show. There's so much to write about, though?
> 
> Tell me what you think, if you have time. I'd love to hear anything this brings to mind.


End file.
